England…

It means so much to me. I have this great desire to go there and spend a semester of school. It’s something always on my mind; something I am always thinking about. I wish my parents could understand how much this means to me. All my life, I have never asked for anything big. If someone ever asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I would not give them an answer. This happened for two reasons. One, I hate acting selfish. And Two, I never really wanted anything. But I guess I always had things in mind, and I always ended up getting them. Which I wasn’t fond of. So now I just want this one thing. I want to go to England for school so badly, that’s the one thing I want, something that would truly make me happy. And thats something you don’t expect from me nowadays -.-

While I’m Out.

http://stoptheday.com/

http://xpb.me/blog/

http://deny.tumblr.com/

http://yellowcrayola.wordpress.com/

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http://www.fmylife.com/
WOO!

Can’t Blog Anymore

Ask me why somewhere else, if you care.

Bai!

Bye everyone! I’m going on a cruise from this sunday until next (4/12-4/19), and I wont have internet or phone.

*Dies*

Talk to you all later

Baby Come Back

Listening to: Electric Feel- MGMT

Haha I love this song. ”OOH girl! Shock me like an electric eel. Save me girl. Turn me on with your electric feel.”

My baby is back. In my arms. My computer <3

Yesterday I had the scare of turning on my computer to realize that the trackpad and keyboard had decided to stop working. I took it to my bio teacher first, since he works for Apple, but he couldn’t fix it. So I took it to the Apple Store, and they couldn’t fix it either. Hard drive failure. Worst nightmare? Yes. I had backed up a bunch of apps and all my photos (thank fucking god– excuse my fucking french, fucka) but I DID forget to backup my music. (Just so you know, I’m backing it up RIGHT FREAKING NOW.) So they took Baby away and preformed a little operation on it’s HD… and now I have it back, and even though it may be a little dumb now, it’s faster and looks cleaner. Thank you Apple

The song has now changed to Music Is My Hott Hott Sex. Interesting, seeing as I’ve just lost 3000 songs. Maybe this means something for my sex life. Fuck.

Speaking of my sexlife! Oh wait, nevermind.

Break begins after school tomorrow, which I am so thankful for! I can’t wait to take a bunch of pictures on my cruise!!!! I hope they come out nice. 

Anyways, I’m a little too lazy to keep writing, Lost is on in an hour (I think I’m having another Lost-gasm tonight, I’m really excited), and I have to pee.

Bai!

I live in my mind.

Where my perfect is my happy. And where my perfect is my impossible.

The Happy List; aka, The List of Impossibilities

I’ve been thinking lately about the few things that would make me happy. So I made up a list of these “impossibilities”; things that will never happen.

Which appears to be the problem:

• Having my parents not treat my bedroom as a drive thru window. - I seriously get no privacy. At all. And I know you might be thinking “he’s too young, you need to earn these things” or “I have it worse than you do!” and I mean, I get that. But it’s out of control. My parents know that I’m upset and know I’m going through crazy shit… so why can’t I be left  alone? For some reason my mind goes basically insane and every time they’re in my room, no matter they I’m doing, it bothers me so much. It makes me want to jump out the window (okay thats SORT OF a joke… i actually contemplated it once…)
• I just want one good friend. Just one. – I have people that call me their friends and stuff, but I don’t like a large amount of them. 99% of them. Does it make me selfish and greedy to want to have just ONE good guy friend? I hate girls. I HATE them. They are no fun and they suck ass. Sorry. I’m not, actually…
• Be able to play a sport and be good at it – I’m a failure when it comes to sports (and everything else, but mostly sports), and I just wish I could be good at something. I guess that’s too much to ask, too. I’m a wimp.

I was going to continue this post but I decided you’re pretty fed up with it. I’ll finish it and keep it private.

Happy Failures.

Hello, Spring. Let’s Embrace, Kay?

I took this picture outside today of this teeny tiny flower thing we get in our grass. They’re always there, really, but today they seemed like they meant something to the Earth. It made me actually feel like spring is here.

I love the warmth of spring and the light breezes that cool you down. It feels so good, and it makes me want to spend all day outside. Yet here I am writing a blog post on my computer

This is probably going to be short, because nothing eventful (positive, i mean) has happened recently, and I’m only halfway through today. I’m going downtown to get pizza, because I’m fat like that. Hey, it’s a lifestyle. I CHOSE to be obese ^.^

Have a great day, and I hope it’s warm or warmer than it is here where you are.

I hate being paid.

Does that make me sound like a mental patient? Well no.

See, my friend’s mom is in real estate, and she wanted me to take some pictures of this house to put up online and stuff. So I came to take them and since my normal lens is broken and all I have is the big one, it’s all i could use. Which equals fail. All the shots inside came up too close, I was dying, because I wanted my normal (28-55) lens so badly! The shots didn’t come out HORRIBLE, but they didn’t come out as I had hoped. Oh well.

I hate being paid though, I feel so bad. I don’t think my shots were worth what I got paid for them, no matter what. I guess I gotta learn to deal with this type of stuff.

This was a short post today, but I felt like typing

Sun God.

I honestly don’t know why I’m blogging right now. Maybe because I’m not feeling that great? Well, I’m not feeling BAD, im just feeling weird. I want things that I can’t have.

I want the things that will make me happy again.

Oh well? I wish i could go out and take some pictures but the weather is crappy and I am lazy. I don’t think I’m doing anything tonight, which sorta makes me upset. I hate wasting Friday nights but I do it every Friday. I wish it was summer. I wish someone went back in time and deleted school. That would be cool.

I saw a new therapist yesterday. I was pretty hesitant on going since the previous one didn’t really help I guess, but ever since my parents saw my arm they really pushed me in to going. And I was okay with that. Luckily, it wasn’t that bad. The guy seems very nice and he was a guidance counselor at my school a long, long time ago. So I didn’t mind going. We talked about things I had never really thought about before, but I didn’t get to bringing the big problems out on the table. Maybe it’s because I’m still not sure what they are yet.

Today was nice because it’s Friday and Friday’s are nice. Make sense? kgood.

The day went by fast and I didn’t really do any work, which doesn’t usually happen.

It’s crazy when I hear reactions of people finding out about me. Very few people know, but it’s more than when it all started. I’ve heard both sides of the reaction story. I guess I knew there would be two sides, I just didn’t want to think about it. Now that’s all I seem to be doing. I’ve been in this weird mood where I don’t feel like talking, and do feel like talking at the same time. And now people think I’m ignoring them in some way I guess. Oh well, time heals all wounds, unless you’re on The Island.

Oh, and my pal Thao (click on his name for his awesome blog) said he’s going to buy me a domain name. He’s just lovely. But I’m having trouble thinking of something creative. So drop a comment if you have any ideas. It will probably look something like http://_____.me because i like .me domains for some reason. Less typing =)

Have a fantastic weekend, and break, if you’re on one!